What they don’t tell you about self-care

Self-care is more than what you see on the ‘Gram. It’s not all bubble baths and getting your nails did. True self-care is deep work and isn’t always easy but it’s so important for your physical and mental health.

These are some of the things they don’t tell you about self-care…

Sometimes you have to evaluate those around you

Self-care can mean removing people from your life who you care about but aren’t good for you. They may not even be aware of how they affect you but certain behaviours may be triggering.

But you’re not selfish for wanting the same energy and love you give.

But sometimes self-care feels selfish

Especially if you’ve spent your life people-pleasing and putting others first. The second you start focusing on your own needs, you might find some people push back when you try to establish boundaries and you prioritise your self-care.

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Self-care can mean doing things you don’t like doing

I hate checking my finances, setting budgets, and doing a lot of household chores. I’d rather be chilling and doing nothing but they have to be done because they are fundamental to my self-care.

Much like there is a time and a place to chill and do zilch. You may need to do some hard work in the present so future you benefits.

You might need to spend some time healing

You may find that there are parts of you that need to be healed. An important part of self-care is understanding that you are not responsible for the trauma that has happened to you, but you are responsible for healing it. When you start to focus on yourself, you may notice areas that need healing.

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Self-care is setting boundaries

These can be physical or emotional. Once you start setting boundaries you may find this scares some people away. These people only benefited from you not having boundaries. Let them leave.

There’s a big difference between taking accountability and self-blame

You are a human. It is inevitable that you are going to fuck up. What you need to refrain from are self-blame and negative self-talk. What you do need to do is hold yourself accountable and try to correct your actions where you can. Trying to better yourself is self-care.

Important things to remember about self-care:

  • Neglecting yourself to put someone else first, isn’t love
  • Self-care requires letting go of old habits, choices and relationships that no longer serve you
  • Self-care feels the hardest when you need it the most
  • Sometimes being honest with yourself is one of the hardest things to do

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